I have a feeling this guy has some answers…

We Need to Talk About the Envelope in the Room

As just about the entire world now knows, an Oscars envelope snafu led to the wrong film being named as Best Picture. Somehow Warren Beatty got the wrong envelope. He paused. He showed it Faye Dunaway (to show her it was a mistake) and she, not realizing Beatty’s intent, reads the wrong winner; thus overshadowing what was actually an excellent telecast led masterfully by the pitch-perfect Jimmy Kimmel. But back to the madness. Here are 12 quick thoughts on that time the La La Land team accepted the Oscar for Best Picture and then had to immediately hand their trophies over the actual winning picture, Moonlight.

  1. Let’s start with the positive. Every kid who’s been getting a lesson on being a bad sport from Donald Trump just got a lesson in being a good one from Jordan Horowitz. Let no American ever dispute the truth of this news: Jordan Horowitz, Mensch.
  2. That’s what’s wrong with you people today. Everyone gets a trophy.
  3. Warren Beatty just announced he meant Hillary won the election.
  4. After the Moana song, every kid in America went back to playing on their iPads. Well, they just learned an important lesson about respecting TV.
  5. It could have been worse. Can you imagine if, right after her speech, we found out Viola Davis didn’t actually win? Then the actual winner walks up to the mic and is like, “Uh, I’d like to thank my agent…”
  6. This is the first time in his life that Warren Beatty wants to change the subject to Ishtar.
  7. Anyone else notice that no Jewish cemeteries were vandalized during the hours when Mel Gibson was at the Oscars?
  8. Forget Trump. How am I gonna talk to my kids about the fact that absolutely nothing in this world is what it seems?
  9. You know how ridiculous it looked when those people on a Hollywood tour ended up in the Dolby Theater and then wouldn’t stop staring at their phones? Well, look up from your phone and into the mirror.
  10. Remember when we thought 2016 was weird?
  11. I wonder if the Oscars made this whole thing up to distract us from the Russia story…
  12. Trump still says La La Land won.

Dave Pell has established himself as the master of whatever it is that you see above. More importantly, he writes NextDraft.

I write NextDraft, a quick and entertaining look at the day’s most fascinating news.

I write NextDraft, a quick and entertaining look at the day’s most fascinating news.