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This is the Eighth End, My Friend

Ten quick thoughts following America’s first Olympic Curling Gold

  1. Most Olympic athletes represent their country. The person who yells at the people with the brooms in Curling represents all humans.
  2. A thought that occurred to me around the 6th or 7th End: It’s incredible that Curling is popular in states where pot isn’t legal.
  3. Millions of men just went from having a porn-stache to having a curler-stache.
  4. Curling would be better if the opposing team got to deliver one body cheque.
  5. Trump can finally point to a non-imaginary presidential achievement: He built a Curling powerhouse.
  6. It’s four years until the next round of Olympic Curling. And, somewhat shockingly, that hurts.
  7. The TV/Movie rights for this version of the miracle on ice are going to be so expensive it will give new meaning to Netflix and Chill.
  8. People who never leave the couch debating whether or not Curler’s are participating in a real sport represents America in its purest form.
  9. Enough with the bots and trolls. This is the way social media trending is supposed to fucking look.
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I write NextDraft, a quick and entertaining look at the day’s most fascinating news.

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