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Masturbating By Midnight

A quick response to the modern dating culture.

“Hookup culture, which has been percolating for about a hundred years, has collided with dating apps, which have acted like a wayward meteor on the now dinosaur-like rituals of courtship.” In other words, it’s never been easier to get laid. In Vanity Fair, Nancy Jo Sales provides an update on the state of Tinder and the dawn of the dating apocalypse. According to John, a 26 year-old marketing exec: “Sex has become so easy. I can go on my phone right now and no doubt I can find someone I can have sex with this evening, probably before midnight.”

Here are the first 10 responses to John that popped into my head.

  1. “Sex has become so easy. I can go on my phone right now and no doubt I can find someone I can have sex with this evening, probably before midnight.” (If I go to my phone right now, I’m not even sure I could find a partner for Words with Friends by midnight.)

On the off chance John is not having sex right now, he should sign up for NextDraft, an orgasmic look at the day’s most fascinating news.

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I write NextDraft, a quick and entertaining look at the day’s most fascinating news.

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