This Could Have Been the Voice of the Trump Adminstration

Axl Never Promised a Rose Garden

On the Steve Mnuchin Axl Rose Spat that Never Had to Happen.

In the inevitable mid-pandemic Twitter flame war, Axl Rose classified Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin as “officially an asshole.” Mnuchin fired back with the question: What have you done for the country lately?

For one thing: He rocked.

For another thing, his last tour pulled in almost $600 million, which compares quite favorably with America’s current business model.

But this is a fight that didn’t need to happen. When Rose broke a leg prior to a recent tour as the front man for AC/DC (yes, he did something for his country, and Australia), he performed entire shows sitting on a throne in front of rabid, adoring fans. How much more Trumpian can you get than that? And the uncanny parallels don’t stop there. Axl Rose was rockin’ red headwear before Trump had even an inkling of that idea (or several of his early bankruptcies).

Besides, the Guns N’ Roses discography and album titles easily double as a soundtrack for the Trump reign. It only takes a quick listen to realize that, in addition to rocking the absolute shit out of his country, Axl, Slash and the boys basically created the ulimate Covfefe Oeuvre.

Appetite for Destruction
Use Your Illusion
Anything Goes
Bad Apples
Perfect Crime
Raw Power
Civil War
Welcome to the Jungle
You’re Crazy

Double Talkin’ Jive
Out ta Get Me

The Plague
Dust n Bones
Knockin on Heaven’s Door
I Don’t Care About You
Live and Let Die

Sweet Child o’ Mine (A side)
Sympathy for the Devil (B side)

I.R.S. and Back Off Bitch.

Lyrics by Dave Pell of NextDraft: Real News Saves Lives

I write NextDraft, a quick and entertaining look at the day’s most fascinating news.

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