30 Quick Takes on Debate 2
- The bad news for Trump: His mic worked.
- You could have streamed tonight’s debate on PornHub.
- It made sense that Anderson Cooper was moderating since cable news helped to create this monster.
- His sniffing said cocaine. His demeanor said Xanax.
- Trump’s side of the debate sounded exactly like a Studio54 bathroom in the eighties.
- Hillary dropped the boldly colored pantsuit and went with the perfect vibe for the evening: Nun Chic.
- Donald Trump says he has a secret plan for ISIS. If I were ISIS, I’d be guarding my pussy right about now.
- Line of the night from Hillary: “We are great because we are good.” Line of the night from Donald: “Sniff.”
- When they go low, cover your private parts.
- From the looks of his full profile shot, it’s clear Trump is too fat to be Miss Universe.
- Trump said as president, he will hire a special prosecutor to go after Hillary. And that special prosecutor is gonna have a great pussy, believe me.
- Full Disclosure on my debate coverage: Holy Mother Fucking Shit.
- Trump said Hillary knows what the letter C stood for on her emails. We all know what Donald thinks the letter C stands for.
- Complaining about the moderators, Trump said, “This is like a one on three.” Yeah, you wish dude.
- That image of Trump standing behind Hillary is the weirdest visual in American political history.
- Trump hit hard. And many of his supporters will like that. Let’s not kid ourselves. But he looked like a punching bag. She looked totally cool. He hit so hard, he knocked himself out. His campaign is over. His brand is ruined.
- Debate Score: Even Donald Trump couldn’t write off this loss.
- Trump on Humayun Khan: “If I were president he would’ve been alive today.” That would be impossible because the entire universe would have been destroyed by an outside force. I’m not religious. But I believe that.
- The good news: If you play poker with Donald Trump, now at least you know he has a slight tell.
- The biggest health care learning of the night: Obamacare should cover oxygen tanks for presidential candidates.
- With all the business practice he’s had, Trump should just declare moral bankruptcy.
- When politicians talk about Syria, Americans check the football score.
- Think about this for a second: Compared to his other performances, this one wasn’t half bad. And it was the second worst by anyone, ever.
- Relax. The Deplorables are watching Sunday Night Football.
- Donald said Hillary “has tremendous hate in her heart.” By that point in the evening, we all did.
- Somewhere towards the end of the debate, Donald became the first businessperson to say something positive about Twitter this quarter.
- Trump talked about Scalia. At that moment, I wouldn’t have been surprised if Scalia’s dead hand came up from the grave, grabbed Trump’s ankle, and pulled him to nevermore.
- Conspiracy Theory: Maybe Trump released the pussy tape himself to distract us from his debating shortcomings.
- Hillary should have ended the debate by popping a Tic Tac.
- Someone with a pussy just kicked Trump’s ass.
